This is a major vent, so forgive me. Let me start by saying that I thought this whole working-mom thing was going to be a breeze! I am VERY fortunate to have a flexible job that allows me to have a home office, where I start and end each day. I am blessed that I can have Brock home with me on my "office days," and even on my "road days" he's with Spike's sister while I'm away. I've been working since Brock was 6 weeks...this week he'll be 5 months and this transition hasn't gotten any easier for me. In the beginning, I thought everything would be fine and I would be able to handle it. Well, last week and so far this week (yes I know its only Monday) proved me wrong. I had a breakdown last Thursday. Brock was fussy because he was constipated, I was swamped with work of my own, plus I agreed to helping one of my co-workers with some of her work. Every time I tried to put Brock down for a nap, he'd have a meltdown. Eventually my work stress and his fussiness caught up with me, and there I sat, with Brock in my arms wailing, sitting in the rocking chair in his room, bawling my eyes out. It was ridiculous. I'm not totally sure I've recovered from that. I had to work the entire weekend to try to make my hours. Even today, I'm not sure that's going to happen. My job is getting pretty hard with the MI unemployment rate being so high. Its hard to find jobs for people who have work restrictions due to work-related injuries. Today I had to force myself to stop working at 5:30pm. My mind was exhausted. To top that off, my house is ridiculously messy. I don't think I've vacuumed in almost a week... I can see dust bunnies in the corners of the living room (hard woood floors, there are dirty dishes all on my counter tops... and Spike's been doing his best to get us caught up on our laundry). I just feel like this whole juggling act is beyond me! I really might have to consider hiring someone to help me clean the house once a month. I miss being able to spend time with Brock. By the time I'm done working or picking Brock up from his aunt's house, he's ready to eat one more time and go to bed. I cried the other night because I was on the road all day for work and he went to bed a 1/2 hour after we got home :-( I hope this gets easier. I hope Spike and I can find a way to keep up with the housework. And I really hope that my work doesn't take over my nights and weekends.
Everything is moving along in Brock's world! He's going to be crawling around in NO TIME! I'll have to post a video of him from this morning. I was cracking up! He can get up on his knees already! Once he builds his upper body strength, its only a matter of time before he takes off! Yikes!!