Monday, March 9, 2009

The stresses of a working mom

This is a major vent, so forgive me. Let me start by saying that I thought this whole working-mom thing was going to be a breeze! I am VERY fortunate to have a flexible job that allows me to have a home office, where I start and end each day. I am blessed that I can have Brock home with me on my "office days," and even on my "road days" he's with Spike's sister while I'm away. I've been working since Brock was 6 weeks...this week he'll be 5 months and this transition hasn't gotten any easier for me. In the beginning, I thought everything would be fine and I would be able to handle it. Well, last week and so far this week (yes I know its only Monday) proved me wrong. I had a breakdown last Thursday. Brock was fussy because he was constipated, I was swamped with work of my own, plus I agreed to helping one of my co-workers with some of her work. Every time I tried to put Brock down for a nap, he'd have a meltdown. Eventually my work stress and his fussiness caught up with me, and there I sat, with Brock in my arms wailing, sitting in the rocking chair in his room, bawling my eyes out. It was ridiculous. I'm not totally sure I've recovered from that. I had to work the entire weekend to try to make my hours. Even today, I'm not sure that's going to happen. My job is getting pretty hard with the MI unemployment rate being so high. Its hard to find jobs for people who have work restrictions due to work-related injuries. Today I had to force myself to stop working at 5:30pm. My mind was exhausted. To top that off, my house is ridiculously messy. I don't think I've vacuumed in almost a week... I can see dust bunnies in the corners of the living room (hard woood floors, there are dirty dishes all on my counter tops... and Spike's been doing his best to get us caught up on our laundry). I just feel like this whole juggling act is beyond me! I really might have to consider hiring someone to help me clean the house once a month. I miss being able to spend time with Brock. By the time I'm done working or picking Brock up from his aunt's house, he's ready to eat one more time and go to bed. I cried the other night because I was on the road all day for work and he went to bed a 1/2 hour after we got home :-( I hope this gets easier. I hope Spike and I can find a way to keep up with the housework. And I really hope that my work doesn't take over my nights and weekends.

Everything is moving along in Brock's world! He's going to be crawling around in NO TIME! I'll have to post a video of him from this morning. I was cracking up! He can get up on his knees already! Once he builds his upper body strength, its only a matter of time before he takes off! Yikes!!

4 comments:

Beth said...

Honey, you will have your entire life to "catch up" on your laundry, dust bunnies and dishes. Your baby is a baby for only so long! Enjoy him, for one day you will not be able to rock him and cuddle him..... It won't be "cool" later on in his life. If you can hire someone to help you out during these early months of his life.... DO IT!!! Life is possible after babies, trust me. Ask god to guide you and teach you new and different ways of "getting it together". It helps. Take care and don't fret, life happens and we all have to just keep going along for the ride whether we like it or not. I think all of us Moms have been in the same situation that you are in... Read my blog a couple blogs back, frustration doesn't go away after they are a little older. We just have to learn to work with it. Take care of you, like the saying goes, "If momma ain't happy then nobody's happy!"

Kim & Jesse said...

Honey.your house work is going nowhere I promise!!! I don't even have a job cause i can't find one and my house is messy also.Yes i have a two year old and a 5month old but they grow up so fast don't sweat the small stuff.

Kathryn said...

Who am I a "mom to be" to give you advice. I love you and I was thinking what your friends already told you. Sometimes you just gotta let some stuff go, I'm sorry you had a meltdown and a rough week. It will get better, I'm sure there will always be days scattered in like this...you're not superwoman. But you're doing an amazing job, and you love your son and husband, and at the end of the day you have them and they have you and that's what matters! I wish I lived near by I'd "spa day" your ass! I love you, I am thinking about you!

Jim, Rhi and Ike said...

::hugs::
I'm sorry! I can only imagine how much that sucks, i cry all the time from stress and i don't have another job on top of ike :(